Sunday, March 14, 2010

Toxic Friends

I am sure everyone has some of these. I guess they are kind of like frienemies. I am having a bit of trouble at the moment as I have been “friends” with someone for a long time and at the start of this year I realised this friend was not good for me so I tried to cut contact, without them noticing too much.

My problem is I see them every week and I currently can’t do anything about that. I haven’t taken them off my chat site yet either, as I do not want to rock the boat too much.

I am realising more and more though that this person is toxic for me. They gossip a lot and it makes it hard for me to look at other people I know the same way. She is really good at getting me riled up about different things which I realise AFTER I have left her. She pours her heart out to me regularly about different things and I try to be nice and console her and offer advice when asked.

It is a one way street though and I tested that this week. She has been emailing me a lot in regards to her most recent relationship and it’s falling out. She is divorced and so I told her a few things about my situation and basically asked her advice. She ignored the email. I know she got it and chose to ignore it because of something she said today.

After pouring telling me a whole bunch of things about said relationship again today, she proceeded to bag out people we associate with and when I hinted there was something I wanted to talk to her about she said she had to go. I was leaving at the same times, so instead of coming outside (I knew she had an appointment to go to) she waited inside until I had put both my girls in the car and started to drive out of the car park.

It might sound like I am really upset about it, but I’m not. I’m glad things happened like this today because I now feel comfortable scaling back contact further. I will no longer be replying to her emails and things, and I no longer feel I have to.

I am sure everyone has or has had people in their lives who they thought were friends until the stepped back and looked at the situation and realised they are toxic friends.

We started out as great friends and I am grateful for her help earlier in my life, but I feel now this relationship has runs its course.

I am at a point in my life where I am culling everything, clutter in my house, friends who aren’t really friends and focusing more on my girls and myself, the things that are important to me.

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